“You’ll be dead in less than a year if you don’t change something”, my naturopathic doctor said. I sat slumped in her office, barely able to hold my body upright. Gray-colored skin covered my anemic frame. Filled with illnesses, viruses, and bacteria, my organs were congested, shutting down. Looking at my diseased blood under the microscope she asked, “How do you even have the energy to brush your teeth?” I sat beside her and cried. Finally, someone believed me.
The Medication Spiral
I’d seen western medical doctors for years, but time after time they’d simply write me another prescription. Taking eleven medications a day, my current doctor wanted to put me on medication number twelve. My response to her was an angry, “I’m only 40 years old, and you want me to now take 12 different prescriptions every day?” Completely taken off guard however, a shock wave went through me when a second feeling bubbled up inside. For the first time in my life I became aware of a part of me that wanted and felt comforted by the thought of taking another medication.
The Healing Journey
Like a sweater with a frayed edge, I took hold of this new thread of information and began to unravel it. Feeling like an explorer setting out to find the new world, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery. Hidden within every illness and condition were emotions I had buried for years, even as far back as early childhood and infancy. I had felt unlovable from the years my mother had been depressed and wasn’t able to nurture me. I had feelings of not being good enough from the time my tiny hands excitedly held the thick crayon to make the most beautiful tree I’d ever seen, only to hear my teacher say, “There are no purple trees! Throw that away and start again!” The old messages and emotions I’d been holding in were killing me. To heal physically, I knew I had to heal emotionally.
Changing Old Patterns to Heal
Still feeling doubts within myself about my body’s ability to heal, my dear friend Marcia West of Bridges of Unity lovingly took me aside and said, “Mary you can heal, and when you learn to live and speak your truth, your thyroid will heal.” I decided to put this to the test. When opportunities arose, instead of holding my words, assuming no one wanted to hear what I had to say, I’d voice my opinion. I was pretty shaky at first, but with practice I got better, becoming more confident with each opportunity. My doctor said I would be taking thyroid medicine for the rest of my life, yet my thyroid healed and the medication synthroid was history. As I learned to love myself, the auto-immune diseases I had been battling went away, and with them, those medications disappeared as well. As I uncovered old grief and then opened my heart to love again, breast cancer disappeared. Diligence and fortitude became my new best friends, as I kept moving forward until I had stopped taking every medication, and my body completely healed.
Listening to Your Body and Releasing Emotions
Take time to hear what your body has to say. If you tend to express your feelings in healthy ways, you’ll most likely have feelings of expansion where your body, mind, and your life feel light. If you stuff emotions, you’ll become aware of sensations of tension, tightness, pain, or uncomfortable twinges as what you’re wanting to express or wish you hadn’t said, become lodged inside. In order to help you heal, allow your emotions to move:
Journal or draw
Get your feelings out in healthy ways – speak with a close friend or therapist; use a punching bag; rip up paper.
Breathe through your feelings – allowing yourself to feel emotions while breathing can release those emotions from your body in as fast as seven seconds.
Attend healing programs and classes – those I’ve attended that have changed my life are Taking It Lightly, Hoffman Process, classes through Bridges of Unity and Windemere Institute of Healing Arts.
Using Alternative Methods of Healing
I didn’t get better by doing just one thing. Taking a wholistic approach, I went to practitioners who understood that healing all layers of illness creates complete healing of the illness. I changed my diet and did therapy, Energy Healing, Somato Emotional Release, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT – also called Tapping), Craniosacral Therapy, and more. In your journey, you’ll find which methods work best for you.
Years ago my body was dying and I felt utterly lost. I am now completely healed. Within you is that same wellspring of health and hope. Welcome to your journey.